what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
