it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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