this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
