I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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