I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
