If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
