I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I am available for nakedness
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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