We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
