She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She even gives head with a lisp.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
