I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize