Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
