Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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