FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
