We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
