Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
