Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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