I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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