the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
