Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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