I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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