were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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