i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
