you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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