allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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