those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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