If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
