how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
