There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
