hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
