Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
