i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wish my penis had a tongue
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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