Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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