Just mADE A PArabola og urine
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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