LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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