He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
