..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Is it penis luge time yet?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
