TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
