So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
