OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
