Small penises have feelings too.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
