I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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