no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
