This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize