i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
