i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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