why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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