Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
