my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
