Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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