If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
