Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
